I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
