Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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