I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
