Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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