Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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