Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
