Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize