I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize