That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
