I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
