listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
