Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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