I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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