90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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