I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
