We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
