my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize