Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
