Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
