I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
