I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
