Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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