Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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