I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
