I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
