Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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