ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
