so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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