Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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