I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
