"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
