I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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