I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize