It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
