my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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