i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
