I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
