I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
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I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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