dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
