D3 body, D1 cock
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
