Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize