taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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