hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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