you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
