she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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