I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
