That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
