Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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