I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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