Can i not drive my cunt home
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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