dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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