Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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