Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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