In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
