do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
