She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
