then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm always down for nudity.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
