He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
