I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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