Sponge bath it is.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
