It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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