So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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